dominic ([info]subtlegray) wrote,
@ 2009-04-20 00:49:00
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Current location:Earth
Current mood: awake
Current music:キャンディーズ
Entry tags:consciousness, memory

Self;Aware
Do you remember when you became self aware?

I understand most people ask this question with, "What is your earliest memory?"

Perhaps they're different questions.


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[info]monochromeninja
2009-04-20 06:29 am UTC (link)
My first memory is of being held in a hotel room with a large window and blue carpeting.

But I do not believe I was self aware.

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[info]dina_mei
2009-04-20 08:03 pm UTC (link)
Of course these are different questions.

I, for example, don’t remember my earliest memory at all. Whatever comes up when I try thinking about it is always something I’ve seen in photos, or something my parents told me about. I don’t believe I really remember it, I just cheat myself into thinking so by trusting the evidence I might well have nothing to do with.

I do remember though when I became self aware, at four or five. It was the moment I decided I didn’t want to live any more, so I wished for death with all my might, and, most importantly, with no shade of doubt this wish would immediately come true. Which it didn’t, go figure, haha. I was so amazed – more amazed than frustrated, really – that it dawned on me with indubitable clarity I’m only in here, while the rest is out there. I guess that’s what existentialists described as self awareness.

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[info]subtlegray
2009-05-01 02:28 am UTC (link)
What made you decide that, if you don't mind my asking?

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[info]dina_mei
2009-05-01 11:44 am UTC (link)
Experiencing the imperfection of the world. You see, as Enneagram Type 1, I want perfection more than anything. My mom was in hospital with the possibility of a fatal outcome, some of our relations, who I didn’t like at all, came over, and my dad was talking to them with tears in his eyes. My dad crying and the sun not shining brightly enough (I happen to adore sunshine, the lack of which in your California photos was the most surprising for me) decided it.

Where’s your address? The book is waiting.

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[info]subtlegray
2009-05-05 04:59 pm UTC (link)
It was odd. When I stepped off the plane it was warm and the sun was shining bright. The day after and for the remainder of my stay the sky became overcast and the temperatures cool.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom's condition. Did it improve?

My address is on the way, expect an email shortly :)

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[info]blue_aardvark
2009-04-29 11:44 am UTC (link)
The beginning of the revolt--

http://www.thelocal.se/19120.html

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[info]subtlegray
2009-05-01 02:25 am UTC (link)
Hah, indeed.
I'm always amused at the responses people make to a story involving robots.
There is always a reference to SkyNet (perhaps that's just because it is currently relevant) and generally there will be a references to other robots in pop culture, but never does anyone mention Batteries Not Included (perhaps I just answered my own question).

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